Thursday, June 23, 2011

Fun, Vacations, and Good Ideas

I just made myself laugh as I looked at the post labels on my blog and noticed that apparently I don't have many good ideas and we never have any fun or go on any vacations :) The three of them are teeny compared to all the others :)

Well I'm aiming to change that! At least the fun and vacation parts, I don't know if I can help that I never have any good ideas.

This weekend we're going on a fun vacation so that will knock out those two. We're heading down to Las Vegas Saturday morning. Max has a business conference there which he'll be attending during the days and since the company is paying for him to rent a car to drive down and around and to get a hotel room (at the Venetian), Alice and I get to tag along at no extra cost, for them at least :). We'll be there Saturday to Tuesday and I am looking forward to spending some quality time in the sun by the pool, keeping Alice as much out of the sun as possible while doing so, of course. I went and bought her a darling little bathing suit and sun hat the other day, she's gonna be the cutest baby there! The only swimsuit I could find in her size, at the one store I went to, was a little American flag styled suit, so she's going to be very patriotic this summer.

I hear that the Venetian is very nice and that there is lots to do and see right inside so hopefully Alice and I have plenty of things to keep us busy and don't get bored while Max is away all day. I'll let you know how the trip goes once I get back. Pictures are coming (the camera is charging as we speak so I don't forget and we don't run the battery out while we're down there).

We're coming Vegas!

I just looked up some images for the Venetian... Seriously? This is where I get to stay? It seems so fancy shmancy!

I'm pretty excited.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Flowers for Mom

A few Sundays ago I handed Alice off to Max after getting her all dolled up for church so I could go finish getting ready myself. When I came out from our bedroom into the living room I saw him walking towards me from the door, coming in from outside. He told me Alice had something for me.

Look close and you'll see what she had for me :)

A pretty flower! Never mind that it was a weed, it was a flower and she was bringing it to me. I Loved it!

She's just such a little cutie girl.

After School Activities

I just thought I'd share with you some of the things I've done since June 16 when I officially finished school:

-Lots of walks around the neighborhood
-Shampooed the carpet
-Re-shampooed the carpet (it was seriously soooooo dirty, I think I might do bits of it a third time)
-De-cluttered - went through old binders and notebooks and dusty shelves, threw stuff away
-Played with Alice
-More walks
-Drove up to SLC for my sister's lacrosse tournament, and didn't feel guilty about putting homework aside
-Cleaned the oven and the fridge
-Made Fruit Smoooooothies for breakfast every morning (SO GOOD!)
-Slept in to my hearts content! Alice has started sleeping through the night (woohoo), except for last night, and so I've been able to sleep much more than I was able to before. It's soooo nice
-Trips to the library

The list goes on. I've enjoyed doing many of the things that I'd been itching to do while in school but forced myself to wait and to spend my time on school work. It's nice not to have something dictating my life like that anymore. I just can't get over how FREE I feel! It's soooo nice.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Free At Last.

Well, I Finished. I really did. It still feels a little surreal, sometimes I'll catch myself beginning to worry because the back, deep part of my mind is trying to remind me that I should be doing something (homework) but then I remember.... I'm done! I don't have any more homework, ever. Never will I have to take another test or force myself to stay awake until I just finish this one last assignment. It feels great. I woke up this morning and thought to myself, "I don't have Anything to do today!" I mean, I did have plenty of things I wanted to do, but no deadlines to meet. No pressure to get anything done. No nagging in the back of my head making me feel guilty when I wasn't doing what I should be. I was able to hold Alice and play with her without ever thinking, "Maybe I should try putting her in her bouncer so I can get something done." That's probably what's most relieving to me, I didn't feel guilty for spending my time and making my priority being a Mom, rather than spending my time and making my priority doing my homework and preparing for class. I don't have to split myself between to different identities anymore; mother and student. I can fully devote myself to my beautiful little daughter.

Oh I'm sure after a few weeks the elation of being able to stay at home and spend all my time playing Mommy to Alice will wear off and I'll begin to wish I could get out of the house and go learn, go attend a class. I'm sure I'll eventually miss having assignments to complete and books to read, food for my mind rather than looking at picture books and playing with dollies. I've heard that happens. And I do enjoy learning and have always, at least deep down even if on the surface level I didn't think so, liked school. But for now, I just want to bask in the glorious sunshine on this end of the tunnel I just exited. It feels real good.

See?! I'm a happy Mom! No homework to do here!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011


I'm really good at it.

I'm sitting here in the HBLL, trying to get myself to work on that research paper... you know, the last assignment I have of my College Career!!! And I just can't get myself to begin. I've got to present my ideas, thesis, hypothesis, sources, etc. for the paper in class tomorrow and I haven't got much to work with yet, so the pressure is really kind of on. But somewhere between that one part of my brain that the pressure is and that other part of my brain that's supposed to make me work, the signal is getting lost.

All I want to do is keep reading blogs and looking at pictures on facebook and finding any other way to distract myself so I don't have to work.

And I know that tomorrow morning when I'm scrambling to put together some sort of presentation for my so professional, intellectual, eruditical professor I'm going to be hating my tonight-self for doing this and wasting so much time, yet I still don't want to work.

It must be my history with research papers. The two of us do not get along. I feel fear of him and he likes to hang ominously in front of my face blocking out the happy sunlight and causing me great gloom and worry. Horrible memories of past meetings don't motivate me to delve into a new attempt.

And so yet again, I'm procrastinating with this big assignment, foolishly thinking that maybe if I ignore it it will all go away, or at least work itself out in the end. Foolish.

I should be thinking "Let's get it done and go out with a bang! You're almost done, just finish it up and be FREE!"

But I'm not, really I just feel dread and keep saying to myself, "I hate research papers, I hate research papers. I hate them..."

I just have to do it. That's all there is to it. I just have to do it. Then , once it's finished, for the first time in seven straight semesters, that's over 22 months, I'll be able to enjoy life without school. And I won't have to go back to it again for the rest of my life. The summer will be mine to enjoy, I can go on walks every day, go swimming and enjoy the sun, camping trips over the weekend, meet Max for lunch at work, visit with friends, run Mom errands, do craft projects, sew cute little baby girl dresses (and maybe some clothes for me too), read whatever I want to read, scrapbook, what else am I forgetting... I swear every day there are things I wish I could do and I just tell myself that as soon as I'm done with school (one more week-ish), I can.

I know I should be grateful for the blessing of receiving a college education. And I am. But I'm also ready to be finished with it and move on to the next chapter of my life.

So I guess I better get to work and finish up that paper. Here goes.

And once I finish, this will be me!!!