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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Rose

I haven't done this rose thing in a while.


As my doctor so perfectly described a few weeks ago, to put how I've been feeling recently into one word:

Blah.

Don't really want to get ready, or blog, or go to school or work, or do homework, or take a shower (haha) or do my hair, or get dressed...

Just blah.

BUT,
this rose is about how the last few days I haven't really been feeling Blah anymore! Maybe that's why I've done two blog posts in two days after a couple months' break. It's been so nice to be feeling a little bit better. Even if it's not quite back to normal, I know I've been feeling better because Max said to me "You're smiling again! And being nice to me! You must be feeling better."
(Now you know how much of a grouchy, sick, pregnant lady I am)

I'm not getting my hopes up that it will last, because I don't want to be so deeply disappointed when/if? it returns. I just wanted to say how thankful I am that I've had a bit of a break. I mean I've only tu'd ... I think once in the past three days! Wooo!

That alone deserves a Rose.

Monday, October 25, 2010

In Praise of Labor


I've decided that I need to learn some hobbies. I'm looking forward to that blissful day when I am finished with school and, if all goes according to my hopes, I can be at home with the little one doing what Moms do. And I will need to have something to do!

But my REAL inspiration for this idea is my grandmother, Janet Andersen Ray. Oh what a wonderful woman she is.



This is a picture of her taken about a year ago, with my grandpa (her husband) Oakley J Ray, and me and mine of course. They are both inspirations to me for their testimonies, their faith, their devotion to family, (their children, all 80+ grandkids and who knows how many great grandkids), their frugality, love of work, service and being active, their citrus orchard, their sincerity and genuine kindness, and so much more.

Just a few weeks ago my grandparents were in Provo and, as always, Grandma had brought with her a handful of hand-sewn quilts for all who cared to have them. I already own 3, maybe 4, of her beautiful, colorful quilts. With more than 80 grandkids and the many little great grandkids, even if they each only had one, imagine how many hours were spent making all those quilts. She is also an excellent and fine seamstress, loves to bake bread and cook and sing and play the piano and much much more. After leaving her company those few weeks ago I started thinking to myself,

"In order to make all those quilts, and sew, and bake, and do all the things she does, Grandma must spend her free time being veeery productive! In her relax time she sits down at her sewing machine or quilt frame with a needle in her hand and creates."

Then the formidable question came,

"How do I spend my free time?"

And the immediate answer, I am kind of ashamed to say, was Internet.

I get on facebook, or my blog (guilty), or on email, or back on facebook... and I get lost looking at pictures and hoping to be entertained doing... ... ... absolutely nothing. As I mentioned, a felt, and still do (although I haven't done anything to change it yet) ashamed of the results of this self examination. I was reminded of something I heard in this past October's General Conference from Elder Christofferson:


"By work we sustain and enrich life. It enables us to survive the disappointments and tragedies of the mortal experience. Hard-earned achievement brings a sense of self-worth. Work builds and refines character, creates beauty, and is the instrument of our service to one another and to God. A consecrated life is filled with work, sometimes repetitive, sometimes menial, sometimes unappreciated but always work that improves, orders, sustains, lifts, ministers, aspires."

Elder Christofferson spoke in praise of labor. Working and accomplishing is vital for us. It helps us to feel happy, and to make self improvements. He also spoke of leisure:

"Just as honest toil gives rest its sweetness, wholesome recreation is the friend and steadying companion of work. Music, literature, art, dance, drama, athletics—all can provide entertainment to enrich one’s life and further consecrate it. At the same time, it hardly needs to be said that much of what passes for entertainment today is coarse, degrading, violent, mind-numbing, and time wasting. Ironically, it sometimes takes hard work to find wholesome leisure. When entertainment turns from virtue to vice, it becomes a destroyer of the consecrated life. “Wherefore, take heed . . . that ye do not judge that which is evil to be of God” (Moroni 7:14)."

Those two phrases are what came to my mind when I realized that my free time is spent staring into the screen of my laptop, accomplishing nothing.

Mind-numbing! Time wasting!

I get lost in peoples facebook albums, hoping to see more, or to find another one so I don't have to start my real work just yet, but can be entertained for a little while longer. In the moment it seems fun, but always afterwards I'm left feeling empty, having accomplished NOTHING.

And so, I've decided that I need to pick up some hobbies, like crocheting or quilting, etc. so that when I feel the need for a relaxing break, or have some free time, I don't turn to my computer but instead sit down to do something productive.

Look at the beautiful things I could make!


Flowers for my hair...

Hats and slippers for the little one (I have to admit, I'm kind of hoping it's a girl so I can doll her up all cute like this!)...

Or BEAUTIFUL quilts.


(I think another reason I want to pick up these things is because they seem to be becoming lost arts. They are so beautiful, I want to be a part of keeping them alive and well.)

So, I will attempt to spend my free time doing things that are productive. I have to be honest with myself and admit that I likely won't get to learning these desired hobbies until I no longer have school to worry about. But until then, I will attempt to spend less time on the internet and more time doing my homework, or spending time with my sweetheart :)

Don't tell him I called him that :)

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

5

Really? REALLY? Five times?! Five times in one morning, or more accurately five times in under three hours one morning? What the heck? How am I even supposed to be eating well and getting all the nutrients I need and gaining the wait I need (which so far has been -10lbs) if my stomach won't let me put anything in it? I mean, seriously, how am I supposed to provide for the growing little one if this happens on a regular basis? (never five times though, usually just two or three).

sigh... Frustration...

The worst part is that it's not like I have a cold or the flu or something and can just go sleep it off and be blissfully unconscious until it's all over, I've got to suffer through it awake and coherent and try and find something that I can eat. Grrr.

Most of the time it's exciting.


But sometimes, it's not.



I mean, that's a lie, I'm always excited, we're always excited, but sometimes it's just really hard. That's all.